Months after the drowning death of his 3-year-old son, Granger Smith went on Instagram Sunday to explain why he has been away from social media.
Granger hasn’t been consistently posting on Instagram since son River’s death in June and added that the way people portray themselves is an illusion that doesn’t interest him.
Smith also recognized his wife Amber for continuing to share. He says she has taken the lead in expressing their feelings.
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Sometimes I picture him like this, watching over us, watching his brother and sister play, watching us love on them or watching us laugh or cry. I get so sad and feel guilty that he may see us having to go on with life without him. But then I think that he’s in the most magical place. That he honestly couldn’t care less about life here on Earth. That he will be there waiting for us to get Home to him. To where we really belong. To where we all really belong. Trying to stay the course, stay positive, stay hopeful, stay trusting, and live for Him, so when we get there, he’s waiting with those big brown eyes and his beautiful smile, with God, to say, “well done mommy” (bulgy diaper and all ☺️). I’m missing him all the time, but just really missing him tonight. Thinking about anyone missing someone tonight and sending love and hope to you to keep showing up. Keep fighting. Keep doing the next thing. Keep your eyes on the promise and the prize. ❤️ 1 Peter 1:6-7 ✝️
A post shared by Amber Smith (@amberemilysmith) on Sep 12, 2019 at 7:39pm PDT
Since River’s death, Amber has been vocal about losing her son, sharing photos and memories. She also found some comfort by revealing she and Granger decided to donate River’s organs. That decision has helped Smith become more sensitive to the fact that every person has his or her own story.
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I’ve always known I wanted to be a donor if anything were to ever happen to me. I just felt that if I had viable organs, why would I go into the ground with them? My spirit would be in Heaven, so why not save a life if I could? Never in a million years did I think I would be making that decision for my baby. When 3 different neuro specialists told us that River had 0% chance of brain recovery (yes 0, not 10 or 1%, 0) after shock and reality set in, I thought, how can we bury our sweet baby and not try to help others? His body is perfect, his organs are perfect, we had to do something. There are so many people waiting for an organ to save their lives. The doctors said donation was quite a process. We would have to search for viable recipients and it could take days. We knew River’s spirit was in Heaven, but we couldn’t bear to watch his tiny, earthly body be pumped full of all the medicines for 3 or more more days while they searched. They tried to expedite the process so our family could be in peace, told us they would take him back to operate the next morning, but we wouldn’t know what organs could be used until after. With such a small body, organs had to be measured physically, not just by X-ray. I spent the night laying in bed with him, crying and talking to him while they kept running tests and taking blood. The next morning family and staff lined the hall for the “walk of honor”. We told them River liked to go fast, so to honor him, they pushed him down that hall faster than they had ever pushed anyone. Granger and I held each other and cried. We got the letter that our tiny, red-headed hero gave life to 2 adults. A 49 year old woman and a 53 year old man. I cried when we opened it. Cried out of sadness & cried out of love. I’m so proud to be River’s mama and I’m so grateful to God that he gave him to us for those incredible 3 years. I pray these 2 recipients live healthy, joy filled, full throttle lives just like Riv. It was one of the hardest, yet easiest, decisions we’ve ever made. There are over 113,000 people waiting for transplants & 20 people die each day waiting. Go to OrganDonor.gov to see how you can help give life as well. ❤️
A post shared by Amber Smith (@amberemilysmith) on Jul 13, 2019 at 11:25am PDT
Granger wrapped up his post with some powerful words. “All that said, know this: Life is a storm. Realizing that makes it easier to be grateful for the rays of sunshine.”
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