They say that having two kids is sort of like drowning…
I thought that always seemed a little morbid and extreme but I now oddly relate. There’s this easy bliss with just one child, especially as they get older and become more dependent. You’ve only really got one schedule to work with and once they walk, talk and stop having bottles it almost becomes cake – minus the actual parenting part. But that’s for another time lol
Bringing home a tiny infant to a toddler is one of the most overwhelming feelings I’ve ever felt. I was constantly caught between wanting those precious snuggle moments and the long hours and napping on the couch together to having a fun, loving, and active 2-year-old who didn’t (and still doesn’t) completely understand why my attention isn’t all his. Managing my relationship with little Bridger and also starting a new relationship with my sweet Emmy. No one prepares you for that. There’s guilt and there’s happiness. It’s a whole lotta feelings.
Two different schedules.
Two different needs.
And ya know… My own needs. And my spouse. And my house.
Wooooow, buddy doesn’t even put to words.
BUT – it is good. It is so good. We are finding our rhythm. We are learning what it means to be 4 instead of 3. My body is healed up and I feel back to my pre-pregnant/just birthed self. We are sleeping again. CAN I GET AMEN?! There is joy again and not just feelings of loneliness and helplessness. Those first few weeks and even first month were so overwhelming at times that our family basically carried me through but looking at these two sweet babies – I’d do it all again. I imagine them getting older together and the sweetest of friends they will be… It blesses my heart to no end.
Two kids. A home to keep. A husband to love. A family to prioritize. Friends to pour into. A pandemic. And the list could go on and it can be daunting but it’s all I ever wanted (except the pandemic lol).