What Can You Buy… In Oregon… For $1.2 Billion
The Powerball didn’t get a winner last night, which means that Wednesday’s jackpot is going to be at least $1.2B. All the taxes and bulls*** aside, let’s take a look at some ideas for what you could do with your $1.2B that you’ll win (if I don’t).
- The Blazers: Sorry, you can’t afford the Blazers. According to Jody Allen, the team is not for sale, but we all know that’s silly. Everything is for sale. The rumored actual price is $3B, so you’d need to take all your winnings to Vegas, put it all on black, and do that twice before you can afford the Trailblazers.
- The Timbers/Thorns: Now you’re talking. For $1.2B, you could purchase a professional sports franchise in Portland. You’d just have to go for soccer. Honestly, with the recent win of the Thorns of the NWLS, this might be a pretty good investment.
- The Winterhawks: Oh definitely. You could probably buy the entire Western Hockey League for a billion dollars. If you do… don’t change the new logo. It’s hot.
- Major Companies: You couldn’t come close to buying Nike or FLIR or Precision Castparts, but you could probably make a play for Northwest Natural Gas or something that size. Get yourself some passive income.
- McMenamins: It’s a cherished institution here in the area, and you could easily scoop it up. You’d be the proud owner of several historic locations, some pretty decent breweries, and some pretty mediocre service. LOL
- Alpenrose: It’s a fine company with some unstable management. Get yourself a nice dairy company and remake it the way it deserves.
- Shilo Inns: Just think of the perks! Continental breakfast pretty much anywhere you go in the state, rooms whenever you want… with a Queen-size mattress OR two twin beds! I’ll be they have real nice polo shirts as well.
- The Oregonian: The power you would wield! You want something looked into? Those journalists are the top. Plus, I bet they’d give you the answers to the crossword if you asked.
- 98.7 The Bull: Oh easily. And they’d throw in Danny & Me for a couple extra grand.
Enjoy your billions! (Actually, you can’t, because I’m gonna win.)
~Jake from 98.7 The Bull