When I officiate weddings I remind the bride and groom that love is not always something you feel, but it is something you do. I have been saying that for years, but until recently I’m honestly not sure it was sinking in with yours truly. Unfortunately this hit me as I was officiating a wedding for a friend recently. I’ll share the “list of love” here in a moment, but as I was just a few words in I got a little emotional, because I realized that I had some work to do. For me, to say “I love you” to someone I love is not difficult, because I am a feeler and in my home growing up I heard it daily. However, anyone can say, “I love you.” In an intimate relationships the words “I love you” only hold meaning when they are backed up with actions. Don’t miss what I’m saying, I do think it is very-very-very important for those three words to be used, but more importantly they have to be backed up with action. So what is love?
What did you learn about your significant other today? Now, I know some of you are thinking, “We’ve been together forever so what else is there to learn?” Well let me rephrase the question, how was your significant other’s day? How was their day at work? Did they have a good workout? How was traffic? How are they feeling? Learn something new everyday.
To love is to labor, which means you have to work on it! I’m always surprised when people resist relationship counseling. We will spend thousands of dollars a year on gyms, vacations, automobiles, booze, and coffee but we don’t want to spend money to work on our relationships. Your greatest asset is the person lying next to you each night as you go to bed. Make the investment.
To love is to laugh and this may mean laughing at yourself when you know you are being stubborn or unreasonable, but there is nothing better than laughing together. Unfortunately, as a relationship moves from months to years it is easy to work more and laugh less. It is easier to get ourselves into such a high level of debt that nothing seems funny! Laughter leads to more lovin! To have someone in your life that makes you laugh is truly a gift from God.
To love is to listen. As my mentor once said, “See first to understand before being understood.” Personally, I am too quick to try and get the one I love to understand me, and don’t spend near enough time trying to understand them. Remember our first word was “learn.” There is only one way to learn about that special person in your life…ask questions and then listen.
Love one another,