Love. Who doesn’t want to love and be loved? Well, there are many times in life where we may scream, “ME!” After someone goes through a divorce or horrible breakup they usually say what? They’ll make statements like, “I’m never dating again” or “I”m never getting married again.” The reason for that isn’t that they don’t want love. It’s because they don’t want to be hurt again! I’ll be honest, I didn’t think I was scared of getting hurt again until I loved again. After my divorce I just assumed that one day I’d fall in love again, it would be amazing, and then I’d start my new life with joy. However, at the first “bleep” of love on the internal radar I laced up my relational running shoes, and came out of the starting blocks like an Olympic caliber sprinter!
Now I didn’t call it fear. I called it things that would go under the heading of irreconcilable difference. And do you know who uses that head? Couples who are getting divorced or breaking up, and don’t really know why! As soon as my heart flipped I began to flip out and get very petty. I went in search of things that proved the relationship just couldn’t work. I didn’t realize I was doing it until I found myself alone…very alone.
In the past when a relationship didn’t workout I would quickly jump on a dating app and start dating. It worked because in the past I hadn’t fell in love with the person I was seeing and thus it was simple to move on. However, this time everywhere I looked I saw her. Every women was compared to her. And when I prayed and asked God to send me the right woman He said, “It’s HER dumb ass.” God speaks to me in a very special way.
So what is the point? When we go through breakups or divorce we have to take time to heal. Take time away from intimate relationships so that we can deal with the pain that eventually lead to fear. Men, we are the worst when it comes to dating too soon after a divorce. Maybe it is our self-esteem or we get lonely, but we tend to stuff the pain away by having superficial relationships. And almost everyone starts dating too soon, which interferes with the healing process. Then one day it can be very easy for the “right one” to come along and we either miss it blow it.